We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize