Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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