3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
