i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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