In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
