just come out here and I will go home with you...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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