I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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