oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I currently don't understand fingers.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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