i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
