i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this will be a night to untag.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
