Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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