amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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