Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
