my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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