Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
