I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
