I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
