"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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