i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
