would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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