She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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