Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
