i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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