O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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