chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.