You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish