billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
