Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
