i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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