guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
