I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
