why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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