At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
