I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
