I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize