yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
