Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
