if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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