Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
