I want to stick my p in your. b.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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