Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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