Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
