she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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