To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
