Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
