we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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