I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
