he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
