she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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