i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
