I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
