my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize