At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
