I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
