ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
