There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
